Talk:Line of the Night

LoTN candidates (from Twitter) I didn't write down what won every time, so we'll probably need to use this to reconstruct the Lines, unless someone else was recording. Please feel free to correct, add, edit, etc!!

episode kickoff

 * "I come in search of someone very dear to me." "Your mom?" --???
 * "I believe I have ranks in Profession(deviant)..." -- Smoot, on Smoot
 * "Could you please repeat what wizards do?" "Meth!" -- ??? and ???Shard??? On Mordred, I think.
 * "Instead of a cat man, the rogue should be a pig man. That way he can be the Hamburglar!" -- Mordred??? on Meshioline
 * "You're the grandson of Hitler and Hitler's ideology." "Fuckit, there's the couch!" -- DM?? and Mal, on Mordred
 * "Your name is really Mordred Thog?" "Yeah...?" "... do you want a different last name?" -- DM and Mordred, on surnames
 * "For what it's worth, currently unarmed, except for brass knuckles." -- Zwei, on combat readiness
 * "You can set your initiative to any number you like." "Does it have to be in an ordered field?" "Any natural number you like." -- DM and Zwei, on what happens when math majors play D&D

episode the king is dead let's party

 * "Think about it!" "Are we going to care, at all?" -- sounds like Mordred and Shard but really could be any two party members
 * "You see a pretty, elven man in a white suit." "In a wetsuit?" -- DM and someone who misheard
 * "Make yourself presentable." "Wild Shape: wood nymph." "No." -- Mal? and Samoyev, on parties
 * "I'm sitting across the street, trying to be conspicuous." "Well, there's your problem!" -- I want to say this is Mordred and Shard again but again it could be anyone
 * "I have scars, burns, and pieces of my face missing." "And slight acne!" "And your character's not that pretty, either!" -- Seleto, Shard, and Mal, in which we are all dicks to the disfigured guy
 * "Why do you have to be such a dick to me?" "'Cause I'm trying to get Line of the Night, bitch!" -- Seleto and Mal, explaining the previous
 * "You are dimly aware that these things happened..." "The first four words were fine." -- Samoyev and Shard, to Mordred
 * "Your god's symbol is a giant dick." "You can't dictate his god's symbol!" "I think he just did..." -- Mordred, Alan?? and Zwei, on ... someone's god, can't remember whose
 * "Does it smell like hippies?" "I smell like hippies!" "Hippies smell like you!" -- Mal and Smoot, on patchouli and other delights
 * "How did you meet him?" "Don't tell him you're my dealer!" "As long as it isn't treason, they won't care." "Treason!" -- Palace guard, Mal, DM, and Smoot, on passing Homeland Security checks
 * "What sort of creature are you?" "I'm a Myconian!" "Wait, did you just say non-narcotic?" "Goodness, no!" -- Palace guard, Smoot, and Puck, on species
 * "Oh, you're one of the catfolk! There are many people who will want to see you!" "They'll have nip." -- Palace guard and Smoot, to Meshioline
 * "Essentially you were smuggling a midget in your butt... in your baggage ...." -- DM, on ???
 * "... and speaking in a very dry tone." "Do you want some water?" -- DM and Smoot, Smoot just wants to help
 * "Smoot just looks like such a fun guy!" -- ???
 * "Why are there fewer people than planned?" "Perhaps a clerical error. Um." -- Heisen and Shard, where Shard takes the blame

episode secret meetings

 * "Barron Ganth and the Ganthids" -- Mal, on bands
 * "So you have all left the party." "What?" -- DM and Mordred, on semantics
 * "I trust Smoot, and I believe he can fly." "So does he!" -- Mal and Shard, on Smoot
 * "What's the hardness of a bridge? "What are you planning on doing??" -- Smoot and DM, on structural integrity
 * "I don't want to associate with terrorists... any more than I usually do..." -- Mal, on Mordred etc
 * "He pulls out a pouch, about the size of one testicle..." -- DM, on Prince Edward?
 * "Ethan Snakeslayer is sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes on his motherfucking plane of existence." -- I think this was Zwei and Shard collaboratively??
 * "Ethan Discomfortslayer has so many pillows in his audience chamber." -- Same???
 * "He's going to get some interesting stuff when he does me, though!" "That's what she said!" -- Samoyev and Shard, on Mal's analyze party member
 * "If you don't mind me asking, why do you think I called you here?" "Sex! And drugs." -- Prince Edward and Smoot, on secret meetings
 * "To put it bluntly..." "Sex and drugs!" -- Mal and Samoyev continue the joke
 * "Do we have to have a prince-off?" "You would be the one formerly known as Prince." -- Mordred and Shard, on royal obligations
 * "This is how I interact with Smoot. 'Coo1!' *takes object* 'Stop that!'" -- Mal, on how he got the dagger
 * "Ok, where do you go after that?" "Money!" "Diner." "Food." "Diner." "Hotcake House." -- DM, Samoyev, Shard, Mordred, Mal, Zwei. A near consensus!

episode spooky halloween special

 * "We run an upstanding business, and don't let anyone convince you otherwise!! SO we haven't been properly disposing of the bodies..." -- Mortuary owner lays it out
 * "I know how to solve the problem!" "Remove Light Racism?" -- Samoyev and Zwei, probably on Mordred?
 * "Scorpion in six pairs of little shorts. Snake in one pair of shorts." "Longs." -- Samoyev and Shard, on Wild Shape
 * "So boss, how much freedom do you have to, like, nuke a building?" -- Mordred gets the boundaries laid out
 * "What's a fire break?" "What's a water break?" "It's when the prince becomes a king ... because he's crowning!" -- Mordred, DM, and Mal, on ... many things really
 * "Do you have any meat on you? "I'm of average build, what a rude question!" "Perception checks, bro." -- Mordred, Shard, and Mal, on workplace policies
 * "What is your purpose?" "My name is Smoot, and I'm here to party." -- NPC? and Smoot, on quests

episode meeting with the fates
I don't have anything recorded for this one???

episode rot weevils

 * Approximately one million -ot weevil puns
 * "We brought a druid on a drug bust! Our cop car says K-NATURE UNIT." -- I think this was Shard? On Samoyev.
 * "Do you mind if I have some of the booze?" "Do you mind if you have some of the evidence?" "I don't mind!" -- Mordred and Zwei, on procedures

episode stelth princ

 * "He knows your true name!" "Are truenamers good in this universe?" -- Meshionine??? and Shard, getting meta
 * "I accidentally rolled an ~innuendo check~." "Fuck it, I'm coming!" -- Shard and Mordred, on unforeseen consequences.
 * Apparently all the weevil puns were actually here.
 * "You guys are mean, you're giving the servants a bad trip!" "We're avoiding framing them for treason!" -- Mordred and Mal? Shard? on the plan
 * "One of the privies of which the prince is aware..." "One of the ones to which he's privy!" -- DM and Shard, on bathrooms

season finale: weird dungeon box puzzles

 * "I put my left foot in." "Nothing happens." "I take my left foot out ... and I shake it all about." -- Smoot and DM get down
 * "I put my heavy mace into the slot." "Have you gained weight? And your nipples are showing!" -- Shard and Mal, continuing the trend of workplace sexual harassment
 * "Are those snakes in your brain? Because I am going to get sick and tired of those motherfucking snakes in your motherfucking brain." -- Shard is telepathic
 * "He needs minor stab wounds! No, you don't understand! He needs them! No he needs minor stab wounds, dickhole!" -- Seleto thinks he has a solution
 * "He has a good reason to be pissed. Getting a minor stab wound can mean poison." "Or genetics!" -- DM and Shard, on Mordred's paranoia

season premiere: the prince is a pretty crazy dude

 * "The prince has gone AWOL... and here it is!" -- DM, on Prince Edward's odd siege weaponry

episode wtf gnome city

 * Gnome puns.
 * "What's British?" -- it's a color of Astral Diamond
 * "I wanna look for the black market!" "That's racist." -- Mordred and the DM, on shopping opportunities
 * "Wait, this is a gnome city??" -- Mordred is slow on the uptake
 * "How does the world still exist if Mom knows about this place?" "There are some things you should not tell your mother." -- Mordred and Morzteg protect the world
 * "Ceeeeeeeeelibate good times don't come!" -- Mal?? on Mordred's celibacy
 * "I know that when you see one of your parents next to a magical creature, you know another sibling is coming, but for the rest of us...." -- Shard, on Mordred's lineage

episode dungeoncrawl

 * "You threatened both her cleric buddy and her crush -- of course you're on the threat list!" -- Shard, on why Zwei doesn't trust Mordred
 * "'Marked target is shunned by your religion'? I don't need a spell for that!" -- Shard, on the cleric list
 * "Isn't he stealthed?" "You're stealthed but you're not moving silently. Moving on!" -- Shard and Zwei, on Mordred's hiding abilities
 * "To find the meaning of love... I didn't buy it either." "I think you can find the meaning of love by going down!" -- Shard and Smoot, on the party's purposes
 * "You thought the rot weevils would be 'cuddly'. You nearly died.  Your judgement is poor.  On a scale of 1 to 10, shut up!" -- Mal loses patience with Mordred
 * "Those beetles over there ... do they constitute enough meat to count as a cow?" -- Smoot gets creative

episode dungeoncrawlier

 * "Owl's Grace: lubricates your neck!" "And allows you to fly silently!" -- Shard and Zwei, on the divine list
 * "Is this the right amount?" "*without looking up* Sure." -- Mordred and Smoot, on Wolves' Milk dosages
 * "Did it beat your combat maneuver roll ... because I think you just got disarmed!" -- Mal, on Samoyev's loss of arm
 * "It's ok, Samoyev ... you're all right now." -- Mal, on same.
 * "I can carry this guy with one arm." "You'd have to!" -- Samoyev and Shard, on same.
 * "Regrow one arm (J/K)" -- Fake use of Blessing of Fervor
 * "I like someone with brains and a personality." "Somehow, I get the feeling... so do I." -- Mal and Shard, on divine connections
 * "Y'all bitches can't step to this!" -- Mal, on Hide from Animals